Most Insufferable Congressman in America Considers Early Retirement

After announcing a day earlier that he will not seek reelection in 2018, Utah Republican congressman Jason Chaffetz turned heads Thursday when he told a local radio station he might not even finish out his current term.

Thank the lord. The bad news? The most powerful oversight watchdog in the House, the guy ostensibly tasked with keeping tabs on the Trump administration, “may run again for public office, but not in 2018,” as the New York Times reported on his initial announcement.

As Chaffetz texted CNN’s Andrew Kaczynski, “My future plans are not finalized but I haven’t ruled out the possibility of leaving early. In the meantime, I still have a job to do and I have no plans to take my foot off the gas.” The congressman has recently expressed interest in running in the Utah gubernatorial races, which makes this as good a time as many to offer my condolences to the good people of the Beehive State.

For those unfamiliar with Chaffetz, he’s the guy who recently suggested poor people “invest in their own healthcare” instead of “getting that new iPhone they just love.” Aptly described by Jezebel’s Brendan O’Connor as a “slimy rat fuck,” he was at the forefront of the Republican crusade to burn Hillary Clinton over the Benghazi attacks, thanks to his perch atop the House Oversight Committee. During the campaign, he apparently supported Trump, publicly unendorsed him after the Access Hollywood “grab ’em by the pussy” scandal and then decided to vote for him anyway.

Perhaps worst of all for the public, when it still looked like Hillary Clinton was going to be president, Chaffetz told the Washington Post he planned to spend at least two years of her administration probing her tenure atop the State Department. But now that Trump and his friends are treating the White House like an extension of their business empire, Chaffetz has been glaringly quiet about potential conflicts of interest.

So what’s a little Chaffetz to do before he likely runs for office again? “I love my family more than the work,” he told FOX News. Good for them, keep him.

Meanwhile, anti-Trump conservative and failed presidential candidate Evan McMullin is reportedly considering running in his place.

On the bright side, things can’t get worse? Just kidding, they always can!

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