I marvel at the way some singles and those dating behave these days, going back to the one who hurt them over and over, all in the name of forgiveness and in an attempt to get them to marriage, making forgiveness become foolishness.
As innocent as a child is, if he decides to play with a snake and gets bitten, there is no need going back to the snake for a second bite in order it to know if that is how snakes behave.
Many young people know that at the age of 18years they are considered adults so they think they are eligible to date, but never know that from 18 to about 25years a lot of those you meet are temporary people when it comes to choosing a life partner.
This is like the life of a child from nursery to class three where they are only allowed to use pencils in writing because they are bound to make lots of mistakes and can easily erase them; mistakes such as meeting wrong people in search of a life partner. At that stage consider every behaviour people exhibit as real, be it good or bad; but not all is true love.
This is why you only trust a few; those who treat you right, those who don’t force you to do things to please them, those who don’t harm or hurt you.
Those who appreciate you and are willing to wait, get to know you, get interested in your welfare and what they can do to enhance it; not those who are in a hurry to rush you into what they want from you.
God allows all these people in our lives for a reason, it is either to learn from them or to be with them till the end of time. Those who treat you right are meant to stay and those who don’t are meant to be learnt from.
It is not about who came first, but who stays; not everyone who comes your way is what you deserve, each has a role to play and after they are done, better ones will come along. You might have made mistakes in life, allowed people to take advantage of you and accepted less than what you deserved, but it doesn’t mean you should stay. You need to learn from the bad choices, even though there are some things you will never get back and people who will never say sorry.
Forgive yourself for these mistakes and also forgive them, never hate anyone who took advantage of you or hurt you, but it’s an error to get closer to them to a point where they can hurt you again in the name of forgiveness. That is not forgiveness but pure foolishness. I forgive you doesn’t mean I should accept you back. It means thanks for the experience, it’s time to move on.
Forgiveness is not the time for regrets, but time to apply the lessons in your next quest.
Let what you went through make you stronger and not weaker; let your mistakes make you smarter and not dumber, let your sadness make you happier and not sorrowful. Let these lessons make you wiser and not foolish.
In conclusion “If a man enjoys folly, something is wrong! The sensible stay on the pathways of right” – Proverbs 15:21 (TLB)
Please share with your friends, someone out there needs this.
By: Counselor Frank Adofoli