You have heard it a couples of times that, don’t go into a relationship to seek happiness and you wonder, does that mean I will remain single forever?, since you don’t want to go into relationship to seek sorrow either.
What this simply means is that you should be responsible for your happiness, be happy before you go into a relationship. Don’t go into relationships sad or unhappy waiting for your partner to make you happy. Your partner is not an entertainer. You who know yourself better than your partner yet you can’t make yourself happy, how sure are you your partner can?
The beautiful part of being happy before entering into a relationship is that, if you are happy before you meet someone, you can still be happy after they are gone. They can’t take your happiness away because they were not responsible for it.
Treat yourself like a king or a queen; be independent, hardworking, honest and trustworthy. Give to yourself all that you want for you don’t need someone to tell you “had it not been me, you wouldn’t have had that”.
The truth is, you can’t always count on people, even your own shadow leaves when you get into the dark, how much more others? This is why you have to give yourself self-care, it doesn’t mean you are selfish. There are things people can’t do for you no matter how they feel about you. No one can drink medicine for you when you are sick.
Let no mistake steal your joy. In fact, mistakes are part of life, we are born to make mistakes and we will one day die with all the lessons learnt but no regrets.
So respect your feelings even if you respect others. Pleasing people and leaving yourself behind just to look good is not right. Being a good person doesn’t guarantee others will be good to you. Have control over yourself and choose to be who you want to be, people are free to accept you or free to walk away.
You are too old to worry about who likes you and who dislikes you. You have responsibilities to take care of, that is what matters. Love those who love you, support those who support you but never hate anyone even if they do, just leave them to God.
When you learn to do this before getting into relationships, you don’t just become an inspiration to your partner; you also act as their support, their safest place to be. You become a formidable team member; whatever your partner lacks, you’ve got it, you balance each other. With a minor setback, you will have a major comeback, when you have a bad day you can always be assured of a better night.
Your partner will look into your eyes and love you more because all they see is themselves; they will love their heart because you have touched it and they will love their life because you are in it. Loving you becomes their daily hobby because they are not doing that for you or to impress you, they are doing so because that is what makes them happy.
In conclusion “I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live” – Ecclesiastes 3:12 (NIV).
Please share with your friends, someone out there needs this.
By: Counselor Frank Adofoli